I embrace this crazy passionate being that I call myself. I am finding the tao and it's been a wild trip. I have been like a wild woman that immersed myself in all things mysterious including what lies beneath the surface of who I am. It's been an adventure of examining the hidden aspects of myself, good and bad - and learning who I am and who I want to become. Stripping away all the false stories I have told myself and the scripts that others have given me to fill a role. I accepted those scripts and falsehoods as my own and wore them like a badge of honor - until I realized that was only the ego speaking. Breaking free from these scripts that were created to keep my place at the table was killing me inside out. I stood up and excused myself from the table. I lost a lot of people along the way and that was hard, but necessary because in it I gained me - I gained knowledge and fell in love with who I really am. I'm not done - I will always be healing and gaining new inner knowledge and finding some new perspective on something that I had previously thought was true or false.
Been on this path for some time now and have experienced a lot of various healing modalities, practices, and teachings- there's still more to explore and learn. I am so excited about this adventure! The roar of this newfound passion is that of love. "I LOVE...". I love that I chose to take this trip and that I am still on it. This trip hasn't been easy at times. I have been presented with a lot of teachers in one form or another from friends, to family members, co-creators, enemies, co-workers, etc. (I have written about some of these things in my first book "Master in the Making".)
A lot came from my experiences in healing sessions with healers - where these people show up for me and present themselves the way that they are intended to. It's my choice in how I choose to respond to them and these experiences. I still get triggered, so I have to continue to question myself why these things keep showing up in the way that they do. One of those is that when I am in the position of the client and I come to be healed - it's not always in the form of a modality. It comes in the form of this healer and their role of teacher because, in reality, they are acting as a mirror for me. They are reflecting aspects of myself back to me that I need to heal. Most often and recently is that of inconsistencies in their practice or words. I zero in and analyze their words and I find that they are trying to sell me on the idea of releasing limiting beliefs, but at the same time, they say things to limit my potential - the potential that I know is my reality and possibility. In one recent session, I did find that I held two beliefs that were polar opposites and they were inconsistent with one another. Completely incompatible, thus my behavior became inconsistent. This was interesting to discover. There's a lot to unpack there and explore in self-reflection and examination. It's a lot of adulting and taking personal responsibility. We each come into this world as a single unit of existence and we leave as one single existence with things that we have experienced.
"A life lived in fear... is a life half-lived." - Baz Luhrmann
